To Wear the Red Band
by jayer
Summary: History comes back to haunt Adam McAndrew when a decision about a patient hits close to home. Post "So Tell Me What You Want"
1. Chapter 1

"That wasn't your call."

"Dr McAndrew, this was a serious mistake."

"And I'm the Chief Attending, dealing with this sort of thing is MY job."

"You were not here. We certainly can't have a nurse who would mix up blood samples on active duty."

"I understand that. I also understand that I have a cell phone and you could have called me." Adam fumed.

"We were lucky there were no fatal consequences from Ms Dobler's mistake."

"No fatal consequences and yet you still suspended her for two weeks. You're still putting her up for review, possible termination?"

"Ms Dobler needs to understand the gravity of what she did."

"If she did it."

"If? According to the duty roster, Ms Dobler was assigned to draw all the blood samples and deliver them to the lab."

"I know Brittany Dobler. Yes she's basically fresh out of nursing school, she's still wet behind the years. But she's not stupid, she knows how to do her job and she's extremely careful to do it right because more than anything she loves kids. She would never hurt any of them, not on purpose, not by accident."

"Dr McAndrew it's noble of you to stand up for one of your department's staff members but the only people who had access to those blood samples were Ms Dobler and the lab techs. And both technicians have been here for over two years with flawless records. If a mistake was made it was almost certainly Ms Dobler. She has been suspended without pay and WE will decide at the end of that time if she continues her employment at this hospital and that is the end of this discussion."

Adam bit his lip to keep from screaming. It wouldn't do to have a doctor screaming obscenities in front of children. Or worse, punching someone in his overweight, bureaucratic smug face. Adam really disliked Neville Briggs. He'd had more than one unpleasant encounter with the administrator, just in the last week. He wanted nothing more than to prove Brittany didn't screw up so he could shove it in Briggs' face.

"What was that all about?"

"Kenji. You'd better call the service and see if they can send a temp."

"Brittany call out sick?"

"Brittany is on suspension. Two weeks."

"What? Little Miss Sunshine got in trouble?"

"Yeah. Apparently." Adam shrugged, "According to Briggs and his micromanaging bull dogs, Brittany mislabeled a blood sample. Accidentally mixed up the draw from Charlie Hutchinson with another patient."

"You're joking right?"

"She confirmed she drew the blood. The mistake was caught when the results triggered a review by neurology before the hospital would approve the insurance's request to transfer Charlie to a care center. A review which pointed out that there was no way Charlie Hutchinson's test results could have that high a differential in a week."

"Are they going to fire her?"

"Not if I have something to say about it. There's a review at the end of her suspension and I'll be right there by her side."

"Good. We gotta stand by our girl."

Adam saw Jackson coming out of the locker room, pulling her coat on."

"Jackson."

"Doctor."

"I guess you heard. About Charlie."

"uh huh."

A thought went through Adam's mind. He didn't want to believe it, it wasn't possible. It was about as likely as the thought of Brittany being careless with something as important as a blood sample.

"The insurance company is demanding the blood work be redone right away. So it's really only a few days delay." Adam said as casually as he could. "And Briggs is looking into the screw up."

"I thought Brittany"

"Brittany admitted she drew the blood but she's pretty certain she labeled all the samples correctly."

"No one else had access to the blood samples."

"We both know that's not totally true. There are a few members of the staff who have full access to all areas. Attendings, charge nurses and such. I would hate for Briggs to get the idea that someone might have used that access to switch the samples on purpose. Maybe someone that doesn't want Charlie taken away from the hospital.

"Well have a good night, Jackson." Adam turned away without another word. He hated thinking Jackson might do something like that, although at the same time he couldn't blame her. He understood the notion of a patient getting under your skin. No matter how much the teachers at medical school lectured about not getting emotional it was a lot harder in real life. After all, they are only human. He couldn't berate Jackson when he was just as bad. He knew if it came down to it, he'd pitch a fit if anyone tried to take Jordi away, even the boy's own family. Still he didn't like the idea that she'd do something illegal. He couldn't prove it and only mentioned it in the hopes that if she had any plans for an encore she would drop them. Jackson was too good to lose. And she'd been around long enough that he couldn't use inexperience to get her out of trouble.


	2. Chapter 2

Adam set the bag on the counter. He pulled off his coat and hung it on the back of the bar stool.

"Hey fat cat." He grinned as a mound of ginger fur jumped up onto the counter. "I got you a treat."

Adam pulled a can out of the bag. He dumped the contents into a bowl and set it on the floor. "I guess someone was hungry." Adam laughed as the cat attacked the mound of tuna fish.

Adam reached for a saucepan. He pulled out a box of pre made soup and poured about half of it into the pan. He could practically hear his mother's voice nagging at him as he turned the stove on. Eleanor McAndrew had been a wannabe chef before she married into the high life and cooking a proper meal was the one thing she only left to servants on special occasions. It was also the one skill she insisted on passing down to all of her children. If she knew her baby boy was eating ready made food, well even Jackson might be terrified of the storm that was unleashed. It was one of a handful of things about his life he didn't share with his mother, it was safer for everyone.

Adam popped open a beer and quickly put away the rest of the groceries.

"You've had enough, Rufus." Adam gently pushed the cat away with his foot while he poured the soup into a bowl. He sat down at the bar, sipping soup and sorting through a stack of mail. He balled up a flyer and tossed it over his shoulder. He could hear the cat batting around the make shift ball.

Adam finished his dinner and quickly washed up the dishes. He took a long shower and dressed in a pair of sweats and a tee shirt. It wasn't really late enough to go to bed and he wasn't very tired anyway. He didn't really watch much TV since it was hard to keep up with a show when your schedule was so flexible. He found himself standing in front of a half filled bookshelf. Most of the volumes were old text books and medical journals, but on the end of a shelf there was an odd volume. It was a dog eared copy of the Hobbit from high school. He hadn't read it in ages, maybe not even since school. He pulled the book off the shelf, got another beer out of the refrigerator and plopped down on the sofa.

He was about halfway through the book when he found the photo. It was just the two of them. Like every other year they wore matching costumes. She always picked them and he always let her. She was better at it. That year she had decided they would go as Raoul and Christine from the Phantom of the Opera. She loved that book and it was an excuse for her to wear a ball gown. He just had to wear a tux with a tail coat and a caveat. She was beautiful that night and he, surprisingly, didn't look like a total idiot. He flipped to the front of the book and found her name written inside the cover, in that neat calligraphy she was using. Somehow he'd ended up with her book, that photo tucked in the pages. Of course she would have put the photo in that book, it was one of her favorites. She probably read it every year. She had a weird thing about putting photos in her books, like a treasure to find later. It was one of many things he had loved about her.

He was halfway through the third beer when he finished the book. Rufus had comfortably wedged himself between Adam and the back of the sofa, purring contently as Adam subconsciously scratched him. Adam put the book on the coffee table and finished off the beer. As he set the bottle down, his eye caught the photo which had fallen in his lap. He was still staring at it, lost in memories, when he drifted off to sleep.

_There was a string quartet playing on a small stage. All the guests were in the best costumes they could think of. The gallery was covered in lights, flowers. It was like a dream. _

_"__Adam, it's amazing." _

_"__It's okay."_

_She punched him in the side. "You jerk."_

_"__Brat."_

_"__Admit it, it's pretty cool."_

_"__Champagne?" A waiter held out a tray. _

_"__Why yes we will." Adam laughed as he handed her a glass. "Happy Birthday Alex."_

_"__Hello Dr McAndrew."_

_Adam turned to find Charlie Hutchinson standing behind them. _

_"__Charlie, what are you doing you here?"_

_"__I'm stuck here." _

_Adam looked around to see that the two of them were standing in the foyer of the hospital. "Stuck?"_

_"__Yeah. Stuck. Like one of those horror films where the bad guy is chasing the good guy down the hallway full of doors and they're all locked."_

_"__Wait, you're saying you're stuck in this hospital all alone, trying to find a door that's unlocked."_

_"__Kind of. I mean I'm not always alone."_

_"__You aren't?"_

_"__No. Sometimes people come for a little while but then they vanish again."_

_"__People, what people?"_

_"__Jordi came during his surgery. He played his song for me."_

_"__Jordi?"_

_"__Yeah. Then he got sick. Is he okay?"_

_"__Yeah. He's good. This doesn't make any sense." Adam shook his head. "You never met Jordi. He's never even been in your room. You can't know about him."_

_"__But I do. I know about Jordi and Leo and Kara and a bunch of other kids."_

_"__Charlie, that just isn't possible." Adam realized Charlie was missing. No wait. It was all missing. He was standing in a garden. One of those gardens with the hedges that were built into a maze. Like in that Harry Potter movie. Or that play they went to see in New York about the girl and the garden. _

_"__This isn't real."_

_"__Contrarywise." He turned at the sound of a pair of voices. Behind him were two children, a boy and a girl, dressed in identical costumes._

_"__If it was so, it might be"_

_"__and if it were so, it would be."_

_"__But as it isn't"_

_"__it aint"_

_"__That's logic." The two finished together. _

_"__Bravo, bravo." A woman clapped. "You are going to be wonderful."_

_"__Mom?" Adam looked up to see his mother, well a 20 year or so younger version of his mother, and his father applauding. Charlie was standing beside them,"okay, This is officially weird."_

_"__No joke." Charlie grinned. "You actually played Tweedledum?"_

_"__I was Tweedledee."_

_"__Not according to the program." Charlie held up a piece of paper. _

_Adam felt the ground shake and a loud rumbling. "What was that?"_

_"__Don't ask me. It's your dream."_

_A man on horseback, dressed in armor covered and a red cloak, rode up. _

_"__Leo?" Adam asked as the man took off his helmet. He looked around to find Kara, Emma, Dash and Jordi all on horses, all dressed in armor and red cloaks. His parents and the two children were missing. But Charlie was still standing next to him. And she was there. This time dressed in a simple hospital gown. But now they weren't in the garden, they were on a roof, on the hospital roof. _

_"__We few, we happy few, we band of brothers," They were all chanting, almost like it was a prayer. " For he today that fights with me shall be my brother."_

_The ground began to shake again and a dark shadow filled the sky. There was a piercing squeal as the ground fell away and Adam could feel himself falling. _

Adam sat up with a jerk. His heart was pounding and he was gasping for breath. His body actually felt like he had fallen, it was a bizarre feeling. He knew it was just a dream but it felt so real. It was a moment before he realized it was morning. He'd slept the whole night on the sofa. As he padded into the kitchen to make some coffee his eye caught the clock on the microwave. 8:07.

"Happy Birthday, Alex." He whispered to himself.


	3. Chapter 3

Adam sat in the quiet, sipping his coffee. His weird dream was still rattling around in his thoughts. The weirdest part being that he had a dream at all. At least one that he remembered. Alex had lots of dreams, vivid ones. She was always telling him about them. But he never remembered any of his dreams. Not once. When they were younger, they thought he just didn't dream which was okay cause Alex dreamed enough for two or even three people. It was part of why he loved her.

Adam looked up as he heard footsteps. "Jackson."

"Good morning, Doctor."

"I guess you heard." Adam waved the folder in his hand.

"Yes."

"There's a meeting scheduled after lunch, 2pm. For his parents to sign the paperwork. They want to have Charlie transferred right away."

"I'll make sure he's ready."

Adam stood up, putting a hand on the nurse's shoulder. "I appreciate that. And I want you to know that I appreciate how well you look after these kids. Especially the ones that come here all alone. I don't think I say that enough.

"And you promised Charlie you'd be there when he woke up, not that he'd be here. So I'll be keeping tabs on him. If I get even a hint that he's waking up I'll let you know, so you can keep that promise."

"Thank you."

Adam paused in the door. He watched as Jackson went about her morning routine. Taking Charlie's temperature, his pulse. As she pulled her hand from Charlie's wrist, Adam noticed the red wrist band. It caught his attention first because they had stopped using them weeks ago and he was sure they hadn't put one on Charlie. Adam watched as Jackson fluffed Charlie's pillow and tucked the blankets around him. As she set the boys arms down by his sides, Adam say the standard white wrist band on his left hand. Curious.

"Was there something else, Dr McAndrew?"

"Yes. There's a mandatory staff meeting in the lounge at noon."

"No one told me about meeting."

"I'm telling you about it. Don't be late."

"Of course not."

Adam had been looking for one last piece. He should have figured it out before. It was right there in his dream.

It was just after 11:30 when he finished rounds. Adam jogged down the hall to the classroom.

"Excuse me, Mr Anderson. Sorry to interrupt."

"How can I help, doctor?"

"I need to speak to some of the children."

"Can this wait, class is over in an hour."

"I'm afraid it can't. I really need them now. Medical reasons."

The teacher nodded.

"Leo, Jordi, Emma, Kara and Dash. Can you guys come with me?"

"What's going on doc?"

"I need you guys to help me with a patient." Adam hustled them into elevator.

"You need our help?" Leo sounded confused. "What are we supposed to do?"

"Just sit."

"Sit? You grab us out of class to sit."

"Well Kara, if you want to go back to that fascinating discussion on the women's rights movement go right ahead.

"Look I don't have time to explain it all. But I have to talk to a patient's parents. It's a weird situation but you guys being there could make a huge difference. You just have to trust me."

"I trust you." Jordi piped up. "You just want us to sit. We don't have to say anything or do anything."

"Nope. Just sit." Adam led them towards the lounge. "Oh and push up your sleeves. Trust me, it's important that they can see your hands, and your wrists."

"Okay. Whatever."

Adam waved them towards the far side of the room.

"What is this?" Jackson said as she entered the room. "I thought there was a staff meeting. Don't recall any of them being part of the staff."

"I lied. I didn't want to get you worked up and I wanted to be sure you'd be on time."

"On time for what?"

"OMG," Kara whispered. "What are they doing there?"

"You know them?" Jordi looked at the couple walking in the room.

"Yeah. That's Coma Boy's parents."


	4. Chapter 4

"Milo, Mandy. Please have a seat. Would you like a cup of coffee, tea?"

"Dr McAndrew. What's this about." Mandy looked over at Jackson, who just shrugged. She had no idea what he was up to either.

"Has something happened to Charlie?"

"No. But that's not really the point."

"Okay then what is."

Adam sat down across from them. "The last meeting I didn't say much. Actually I barely said anything. I was asked to give a factual assessment, as the departmental attending, to whether the hospital had exhausted all possible forms of treatment. And I said we had, which is the truth. We have exhausted everything we can do for Charlie. Right now. But medicine is a funny thing. We never know what will come tomorrow. Or the next day. The day after that.

"It's a waiting game. It's hope and faith and belief. We can't even really say if the day will ever come when we have the right answer. Insurance companies don't work like that. They work with numbers. Cold, hard, calculated numbers. Return on their investment, results. They can't work off what ifs and maybes. The numbers just don't add up.

"Moving Charlie to a care center makes sense. The numbers add up. It's logical. It's truth. But it's not the whole truth. And if you're going to go through with this then you deserve the whole truth, Charlie deserves it."

"I'm not following you, Dr McAndrew." Milo shrugged. "Are you saying we should or shouldn't do this?"

"I can't tell you what to do. It's not my family. It's not my decision. It's yours. But I think you need to know, and I'm speaking now not as a doctor but just a person, that you are not alone."

Adam reached into his bag and pulled out the photo. He slid it across the table to the couple.

"Her name was Alex."

"She's pretty."

"That photo was taken at our last birthday party together. Our 21st." Adam could sense Jackson leaning in. This was something he'd never talked about. A bit of family history he'd kept to himself.

"It was rather a big blowout. Mother always loved her parties. What Upper East Side wife didn't. Even after my father had decided to move his firm to Boston, she still had connections. Arranging to throw a birthday/Halloween/early graduation bash at the Met was a cake walk for my mother. Alex loved it. We were both really smart. School was so easy for us. They tested us when we were like 13 and our IQ were genius level. Something that drove my brothers crazy. I think it really drove them nuts that we took every Advanced Placement class there was at our high school and aced all the tests. It was great because we'd finished over a year of classes before we even got there. We could jump into the stuff we really wanted to study and not the boring stuff they make you take to be 'more rounded'. For Alex that was art, for me it was pre med. Perfect example of the two of us. I was calculating and scientific and she was imaginative and creative. Music, art, photography, writing. She did it all. And she was good at it. I felt like I had Leonardo Da Vinci for a sister. Having a party in the middle of all that was like a dream come true for her.

"Alex was adventurous one, the one that pushed me. Even the day we were born, she led the way. My parents used to tell us that she was impatient. She didn't want to wait another month, there was a world out there and she wanted to see it. And there was a kind of amusement to being born on Halloween that was just too good for her to pass up. So Alex went for what she wanted and I just didn't want to be without her.

"I know that sounds kind of weird but that was the way we were. In the womb, in the NICU, at home. We'd fuss and cry if anyone kept us apart. Even when we got older we did everything we could together. I got into Harvard but I chose to go to Columbia so I could be in New York with my sister. We even lived in the family's brownstone together. It's weird sounding, maybe even perverse in a way but Alex was more than my sister. She was my best friend, my soulmate, my other half. Her blood literally flows through my veins, which is a story for another day. Needless to say, I understand having a life that is intimately engrained in someone else's. So much so that without them you feel like a part of yourself has been taken away.

"After we graduated that December we went on a trip together. Four months traipsing around Europe going to castles and churches and museums. I didn't really care about any of it. I went because Alex loved that stuff and I wanted to spend the time with her. It was the last real time we would be together. I could have stayed in New York and gone to med school at Columbia or NYU but Alex was so proud that I got into Johns Hopkins and I couldn't disappoint her. Alex had a way of getting what she wanted, especially out of me. So I went with her on her grand adventure and then moved away. Started classes in June.

"We talked every night, without fail. Mostly about what we did that day, what we learned. She was in grad school, she wanted to be a museum curator or maybe do art restoration. Knowing her, probably both. She called me that morning. I was in class so she left a message on my machine. It wasn't anything special. Just one of those 'hey felt like calling you' messages. I knew what had happened, we all knew. Classes had been cancelled as soon as we heard. I called as soon as I got home but got her machine. I wasn't really worried. She would have been in class and it was chaos. When the phone rang it wasn't her. It was one of her housemates. We never found out why she was there. In the end it didn't matter. Knowing why wouldn't have changed that she was.

"It was two days before she was identified as a Jane Doe they had pulled out of the rubble. She was a mess. Both legs had been broken, she had broken ribs, internal bleeding, a fractured skull. When I saw her, she didn't look like my sister. She was all bandages and bruises and tubes. I was scared to even hold her hand, I was afraid I'd break it. And yeah she was in a coma. She was in a coma for 13 and a half months before my parents finally gave up. When the day came, they couldn't stay in the room. Not my parents, not my brothers. They said their goodbyes and their 'I love you' but when it came time to turn off the machines, they couldn't do it. I was there, with my sister to the end. Just like I was there at the beginning. 8:07am, the time she was born and the time she died. Exactly 23 years later. "

Adam paused. He hadn't thought about any of this in ages, hadn't talked about it. He found himself fighting to keep his calm. He took a deep breath before continuing.

"I'm telling you all of this because I want you to understand that I know exactly what what you're going through, what you're feeling. I've been there. I know about waking up and wondering if today's going to be the day he wakes up or the day he gives up. I know about feeling guilty over wanting it to be over one way or the other. I know about not being able to decide which ending you want.

"My sister was basically dead the moment they found her. She had little to no brain activity, she had no reflex response, no stimulus response. She wasn't even breathing reliably. They had to keep her on pacemakers and respirators. The cold, hard facts were that there were huge odds against her ever waking up, so huge they were impossible. And yet my parents did everything, they demanded everything, they hoped beyond hope for 13 and a half months.

"Charlie isn't Alex. He's got brain activity, he's breathing on his own. He's not gone. He's just lost. He's fallen down the rabbit hole. And I cant give you any facts. I can't tell you how or when. I just have my gut, I have my heart. I can't explain how but I know Charlie is in there and he will come back. If he believes he has something to come back to. If he believes that there is someone that he matters to, someone that hasn't given up on him."

Adam reached into his pocket and pulled out a red wristband. "Your son has a wrist band like this. The thing is that we didn't put it on him. The hospital doesn't even use these anymore outside of major catastrophes. We stopped a couple of months ago. There's a handful of other kids that also have a wrist band like this but we didn't give them those either. So where did they come from.

"About three weeks ago this kid shows up at the ER. Teenager, bright, stubborn. Ballsy. Yeah ballsy is a good word. Exact details don't matter but lets just say he also a little desperate. He was all alone, he needed help. He needed someone on his side and he found it. And not just from the doctors. Some of the other kids decided to throw this new boy a little party before he started treatment. One last bit of getting to be a kid, bit of fun before things got gnarly. I caught wind of the plan but I didn't stop it. I trusted the ringleader. Still I snuck up on the roof while they were up there, just to make sure everything was okay. And I heard something. 'We few, we happy few, we band of brothers. For he who fights with me shall be my brother.'

"It's from Shakespeare, Henry the Fifth. Which as it happens the older kids were studying in class. I dismissed it at the time, figured they were talking about their homework. Weird thing perhaps to be talking about but who am I to judge. But the funny thing was that the next day, when this new kid was being wheeled into surgery, I noticed he had a red wristband. I was there when he was admitted so I know he was given the standard white wrist band."

Adam glanced over his shoulder. "They all have them. All of the kids that were on the roof that night. And your son. And all of them came from the same person. The only one of them who has been here long enough to have that many admissions, that many wristbands. A kid that it happens was having surgery the same day as your son, in fact in a room across the hall from Charlie. I've never asked Leo about those wristbands but I think that he gave them to the other kids, that he said what he said, as a kind of promise. A way to remind them that they aren't alone. They have someone on their side. Not just the doctors and their families, but someone who actually understands what they're going through.

"That line comes from a bigger speech. It starts off with King Henry telling his soldiers that he knows they are hungry and cold and scared. That yes they are facing impossible odds being outmanned and outnumbered. And if any of them were so scared they wanted to run away no one would stop them. But if they stayed to fight they were not fighting alone."

Adam pushed the wrist band across the table. "You need to know that too. If you let them send Charlie away, no one would blame you for giving up. Make no mistake, that is exactly what you would be doing. He will be cared for and very well, but they won't fight for him. If that's what you want, this is the battle ground. And you aren't alone. Every person in this room, will be right there with you and Charlie. Because that's what it means, I think, to wear the red band. It's a pact to have each others backs, to fight beside them even against seemingly impossible odds.

"No one can make this decision for you. The two of you have to do it yourselves. But do it with your hearts not with your heads and certainly not on the advice of a couple of pencil dick number crushers in cheap suits who care more about the balance sheets than the patients. And don't let them bully you with threats not to pay if you don't do as they like. I found a way to cover the costs for a teenage cancer patient with no family and no insurance, I'll find a way for Charlie."

Adam stood up and waved at the kids to leave. "We'll leave you two alone to talk."

"This is a lot. I think we're going to need more time." Milo said.

"I thought you might. So I asked Kenji to call the insurance company and let them know there was a problem with the paperwork and we can't release Charlie until tomorrow."

Adam found the kids hanging out in the hall. "You guys did good."

"We didn't do anything."

"Actually you did. I hope." Adam looked at his watch. "Don't you have tests or treatments to get to. Go on before I have to sic Nurse Jackson on you."

"You make me sound like the Wicked Witch of the West." Jackson smacked him in the arm.

"Oh please, even she'd be scared of you." Adam laughed.

"Only if she messed with one of my kids."

"You're welcome, Jackson."

"I hope you didn't do that just for me."

"I did it for Charlie. But there is something you can do for me."

Jackson raised an eyebrow.

"Lay off Brittany a bit. She's really trying."

"And we both know she didn't make a mistake."

"Exactly."


End file.
